Every month I sit among several older ladies (and sometimes a few men) who have significant health problems. Some arrive in wheelchairs. Others can walk, but have lost significant cognitive function.
Being the youngest and healthiest in the room, I’m usually filled with lots of emotions. At times I feel guilty for the health I have. Other times, I feel suffocated by the dread of what’s to come.
The dread is a funny feeling. It’s not as much a dread of what’s to come of my own body and it’s inevitable decline. Rather, thoughts of concern for my husband and children stay at the forefront.
Will I be a burden to them?
Am I already a burden to them?
Will my young daughters grow up with bitter thoughts towards all the areas I lack in motherhood?
Marriage and motherhood are hard. With significant health issues added in, it often feels daunting.
The fact is, my capabilities in motherhood aren’t enough. My body isn’t capable of doing all the things my mind wants to do. Most days, I feel my limits. These limits carry over into my everyday life, which includes my marriage and raising my kids.
While this is difficult to swallow, it’s also freeing.
I’m not enough. And that’s ok. The truth is, my family needs more than me. They need the saving grace of Jesus, something much bigger than I could give them each day.
I didn’t fully understand this until recently. In Christian circles, it’s common to hear someone mention how God is made strong in our weakness. I never understood how that could be possible. It wasn’t until recently that it hit me.
Paul wasn’t talking about physical strength and weakness. It means so much more than that.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)).
God simply wants us to surrender our inadequacy to him so that He can fill us with His strength.
This doesn’t always mean He will heal us, or restore physical strength to us. God’s strength is much more than that.
My limits and weakness in this life have taught me the importance of relying of Christ through prayer for my kids and our husband.
When I see one of our daughters struggling with friendship, I’ve learned to pray for a great friend who will appreciate her personality and help encourage her to live out her gifts.
When I feel my husband getting stressed, I’ve learned to pray for God to show me specific ways to encourage him.
When I am feeling worn down and exhausted, I’ve learned to pray for other adults who will come along side me in parenting. My greatest desire is for other adults to love on our kids while teaching them God’s word in their daily life.
We aren’t always enough, and that’s ok. What a beautiful gift God gives when He gives His strength through our weakness.
How would our lives change if we began seeing our weakness as a gift? What could it look like to rely more on God’s strength in certain areas of our lives?
What areas of life do you feel inadequate? In what ways can you begin releasing those feelings to God in prayer today?
God is on our side. What a beautiful gift He gives us by reminder that He want to help us in our areas of weakness, with His great strength.