I have a really weird habit of pulling my hair out. I know- it’s really strange. I’m not sure when it started, or why. Now I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
One day my three-year-old suddenly started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, her answer was so sad. “I’m afraid you are going to pull all of your hair out and not have any left.”
Oh me. This was the moment I realized I had a problem.
Not just a problem with pulling my hair out, but also a problem with the difficulty of quitting. I mean, why couldn’t I just stop? And why did I ever start this in the first place?
Since that day, I’ve found it hard to tell my daughters to stop biting their nails, chewing their hair (I can’t judge- buy also- why?!) or to stop picking their nose. These are all such seemingly small habits, yet so is my hair pulling habit. However, I realize it’s not easy to break away from it.
Leading Our Families Well
It’s difficult to ask my husband to stop any of his habits that annoy me (ie leaving his dirty laundry right next to the laundry basket. I mean- the basket is right there).
Although these are silly examples, my hair-pulling habit has opened my eyes to the impact my daily habits have on my family.
As leaders, we must go first.
We must go first in displaying good habits for kids to follow. Additionally, we must go first in working on any bad habits that annoy our husbands (if within reason).
In Titus, we see a description of how we as women are to lead within our homes.
“So train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Titus 2:4-5
There are several areas of our home life in which we are the default leader.
Here are a few areas I’ve found most important in how I lead my family.
Daily time with God.
Mood of home.
Attending church regularly- with an expectant heart. .
Honoring others with our words.
Although this list seems simple, it’s actually very difficult to live these habits out everyday. In the midst of everyday life, these habits are mundane and boring. They also feel insignificant in the moment.
However, these habits are the most significant things we can teach our children.
Just like my difficulty in breaking my hair-pulling habit, healthy habits are just as difficult to stick with. Additionally, we can’t expect our children to develop healthy habits that we have yet to develop for ourselves.
Ouch. That truth hurts.
How are we to develop better habits so we can lead more effectively in our homes? The first step is to make a list of your family values. Next, make a list of all the ways you want these values displayed. Finally, be honest with yourself. Circle the areas you need to develop in your daily life so that you can more effectively display them towards your family.
We are called to be leaders in our homes. Let’s lead well together!
Looking for some first steps to how you can lead your family well?
For me, I can only lead well if I’m staying and pre-thinking and pre-planning certain areas of life. These areas include pre-planning meals and having a simple system for prayer.
Tackling tedious tasks such as meal plans help me save my mental energy for other things throughout the week. Likewise, having an easy system for prayer and Bible reading removes overwhelm of not knowing where to start each day. A good system keeps me on track, and helps me see God more through prayers I’ve seen answered after praying consistently for certain things for several days/weeks/months.
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