** This is written by Kristin Milner, initially posted on A Wife Like Me **
After several days of dealing with the grumpies, I unloaded lots of negative emotions on my husband. He had done nothing wrong, and was even taking on a greater load by helping with chores and the kids. Even with that extra help, it still didn’t feel like enough.
The same thoughts ran through my everyday like clockwork. Why do I always have so much was on my plate? Why do I never have enough help?
That’s when my husband sat me down and gently asked what was making me feel so grumpy all the time. In all my complaining of how much I had going on, I never recognized how much help I was actually receiving. I wasn’t grateful. And worse, I was criticizing the way others were helping, never considering how much extra was being put on their plates as well.
Once I paused long enough to realize all the ways my husband was going above and beyond to help with everything, I felt overcome with emotions. Honestly- I felt a mix of shame and gratitude. He had much more on his plate than me, yet sacrificially added more without complaint.
On the inside, I was bursting with gratitude. However, for some reason, I felt slightly embarrassed to say thank you out loud. In a weird and terrible way, the thought of saying thank you felt like a defeat. An acknowledgment of needing help seemed to expose all the ways I was falling short.
It’s a known fact that women do not like asking for help. Even when help is offered, it’s often hard to accept it. After reflecting on why I was having a hard time receiving help, I realized it all came down to one simple thing.
Sometimes our pride doesn’t want to reveal to others that we needed help- and saying thank you out loud can almost feel like a confession. An acknowledgement we need someone else to step in for us. An admission that we couldn’t handle our part of the load.
The thing is, we all need help sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with asking for it or receiving it. When others go out of their way to extend help, we must recognize their help with gratitude. Especially when the extra help is coming from our husband.
When we push our pride aside, our humility begins to lead our hearts towards gratitude.
Not only should we be grateful in our hearts, we need to take a next step. We need to express it towards those we are thankful for.
Here are some practical ways we can verbalize our gratitude, specifically towards our husbands:
- Simply say thank you. Let them know you are thankful for all the ways they have helped by listing them out. This let’s them know you recognize and appreciate all the ways they are helping with things.
- Write them a thank you card and leave it somewhere fun for them to find. Again, list out all of the ways you appreciate their help.
- Recognize life feels a little overwhelming. Talk with your husband about a plan you can work out together until life feels a little more normal again.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18