An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
As a mom with chronic health problems, I often feel stuck in the ruts of survival mode. Not for lack of effort to do all the things. Rather, lack of energy and limited physical abilities.
These limits keep lingering questions in the back of my mind.
How can I truly be an excellent wife to my husband?
How can I give him more than my end of the day leftovers?
From a household chore perspective, I’m not always excellent. Clothes tend to pile up in bedroom floor corners. Empty chip wrappers and uneaten cheese sticks tend to sneak into weird places (gross- I agree). And too often, dinner consists of cereal, ham sandwiches or frozen chicken nuggets.
Knowing these things about myself, it kind of makes me cringe when I read Proverbs 12:4.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband. She who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Whoa. That’s really harsh.
What if I’m not excellent, yet I don’t bring shame? What if I am just a mediocre wife, trying the best I can.
So, what does this mean for me, and others like me? Does getting behind on chores equate to bringing shame onto our husbands? Or is this just a difficult part of having a house full of young kids?
Put simply, does a wife’s character go deeper than her cleaning and home management skills?
Although managing a home with excellence is important, I’m not sure it’s the only virtue that makes an excellent wife.
In Proverbs 31, the infamous chapter often describing the “virtuous woman” we often see a list of attributes to be checked off. As a wife and mom, the list can seem daunting and impossible to obtain. However, what if the description of the virtuous woman isn’t meant to be seen as a daily to-do list. Instead, what if her life is meant to portray how we can best earn the trust of our husbands.
Trust within marriage goes beyond completing our daily chores. As seen with the Proverbs 31 woman, her husband trusted her in all areas of life. These areas include (but aren’t limited to) financial decisions, parenting choices, public character and private integrity.
An excellent wife is one who strives to honor her husband and her family throughout all aspects of the day. When we seek to honor our husbands, serving them through household chores becomes more important to us. And when our husbands feel that honor and trust from, it’s easier for them to overlook all the other things.
Wife Step: Find a time this week to sit down with your husband and ask him if he feels distrust from you in any areas of your marriage- including areas such as finances, parenting, public character and private integrity.